Discipline

Dating: It's a numbers game and I suck at it. I expect every guy I meet to fall head over heels for me. What's that about?!? The fact that I haven't completely failed means that if I were playing the game like I'm supposed to I think I'd actually be pretty good at it. Numbers game. Numbers game. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I need a few more coals in the fire and I think they'd all do better. Coals? I don't think it's coals. What do I need in the fire here? What's the expression? Anyway, I think you get what I'm trying to say here. (EDITOR'S NOTE: It's irons in the fire, not coals. It just came to me.)

Anyway, here's what I've learned so far about dating boys. 1. Nobody's gonna buy the cow if they can get the milk for free. 2. They always want what they can't have.

Sounds simple enough. So why is it so hard? To successfully navigate this... I hate to call it a game but that's what it is, I need to do a lot of things different. I need to stop worrying so much for one. I spend half my time analyzing the other half of it and being angry. I need to stop being so angry. And I need to start doing. Eating healthier, working out, getting out, organizing my life, enjoying myself. I think if I do this, everything else will fall into place. I was just watching Mercy [It's another new show. I think I'm going to do a recap of all the fall TV that I've been watching. That way it wasn't for nothing. I'm just waiting on the week to finish out. There are some good shows on tomorrow night.] and there was a nurse who everybody wanted. She kept ignoring calls from this hot lawyer guy and everyone kept asking her why and she just replied, "Discipline". I need the discipline to not get caught up in every little thing. I've got to spread it out....share the love and I'm hoping once I stop worrying about it, I won't need to worry about it quite so much.

Managing Expectations

I'm watching Eastwick from last night (it's a new show about witches and rather entertaining), at least the first 20 minutes of it so I can fast forward through the commercials on Grey's. In the last 10 minutes, I've decided two things. One is that I like the name Roxanne. The other is that I think I would seem much less crazy if I were more eccentric. It's all about managing expectations. If I start reading tarroh cards, wearing scarves and buying Buddha statues, people won't expect me to be sane.

As it is now, I come off a little too normal at first glance. This is deceiving and sets unrealistic expectations. I'm going to work on changing that.

Just a goof...

I should be on a commercial for match.com. You know, I'm just a goof looking for my ball?? That girl is lame! I on the other hand am what match.com is all about. So I paid for a 6 month membership six months ago under the ruse that "if you don't find a match in 6 months, the next 6 months is free"....Well it turns out there are a lot of stipulations to that rule and I got lazy and tired of stupid match so I don't qualify because I didn't send enough e-mails. On top of that the stupid thing auto-renewed my account at the end of the six months even though i never get on there anymore. I still get e-mails daily from guys writing or winking or whatever, and today I got an e-mail from a guy saying that he joined Match just to e-mail me. Now that I say that out loud it sounds like it could be a line, and a good one at that, but I didn't think that when I read it so obviously it worked. Apparently, I have something that gives people hope. OK, that's an overstatement, but this guy was checking out match.com after seeing the goofball girl on the commercial with moderate to low expectations and then saw me and thought, "hey, maybe there is somebody on here for me". Turns out he was wrong because I won't be writing him back, but it's the thought that counts and I appreciate that. Made me feel good.

I have also made a decision that I will be updating this blog every Tuesday. It's possible there will be more frequent updates, but at least every Tuesday so check back next Tuesday for another update!