Way Back Wednesday: Mother's Day '95

May 14, 1995

Dear Diary,

Today is Mother's Day. Sorry I haven't written for a couple days. I have been really busy. Yesterday was really busy Day. Ashley's birthday party was Friday night. We went to the Mitchell [Elementary School] Mardi Gras. I got her this big ball that has glitter inside of it. We got one for ourselves, too. Stephanie also got Ashley one of those balls. We watched the movie Candyman. It was scary, but not that scary. After the movie we got in to this argument/discussion thing. We were talking about people being left out. It all started when we were playing Skeleton in the Closet. You know, when one person is in the middle and everyone else asks them questions. Whitney asked Ashley why they always leave her out. She said she didn't leave Whitney out and everyone knew it wasn't true. So Valeri and I started defending her and ourselves. Then Ashley started crying and went upstairs. Cherelle and Jessie went with her to like comfort her. Then me, Valeri, Whitney, Stephanie and Lesley stayed downstairs and talked about being left out. Even though Lesley leaves Whitney out, too. She still talked with us. We really deeded that. It was so nice to be able to talk about it with people who know how it feels, and talk about how the "leaver outers" say they know, but they don't. If they went through what we went through every day, they couldn't take it. They would snap. I mean like whenever me and Cherelle sat at our own table in S.S., she complained that they left us out everyday. Then when we would complain, she would talk about how it wasn't a big deal. They just don't realize how much it really hurts. You feel like they don't like you. They just act like they do it to be nice. They probably talk about us behind our backs, too. I talk about how sorry I feel for myself, but I feel really bad for Whitney. I mean, at least I have Valeri. She is all by herself. She doesn't have anyone. I hope next year it's me, Valeri and Whitney in one class and Leslie, Jessie, Ashley and Cherelle in the other. Either that or me and Valeri and someone else in one and everyone else in the other class. Then someone besides Valeri, Whitney and I can get left out and know how it feels. Well, if I am in the class with three, I just hope I am with Valeri or Whitney. Oh my gosh! I just thought, what if it isn't three and four? What if it's five and two or even six and one? Nah, they wouldn't do six and one would they? I hope not. That's mean. They know. They haven't done it yet. I'm just crossing my fingers.

Alright, sorry to write that much about that. Well, then after I got back from Ashley's party, I went to sleep. The guys had a soccer game, but I didn't go. Neither did anyone else though. I don't think at least because mom went to the mall and saw Jessie, Lesley and Cherelle. That was about 10 'til 4:00 when mom got home so about 3:30 when she saw them and the game started at 3:00. Then we went to Applebee's for kind of a Mother's Day dinner. It was fun. Since Mom had them write our name down before we came, we only had to wait 20 minutes. If she wouldn't have called, we would have waited at least an hour. The food was good. I had the chicken finger platte. Then we rented the movie The Princess Bride. I fell asleep after like the first half hour, but I watched the rest this morning.

I decided to go in order, selectively. By that I mean I'll go chronologically, but not post every entry and I reserve the right to change my mind at any point. And now, my 28-year-old reflection on my almost 13-year-old self. For starters, I see where my egocentric tendencies started. Could I talk any more about being left out? The four days I skipped also focused around this topic. So much pre-teen angst.

I should also say, for the official blog record, that I no longer have any hard feelings towards the girls mentioned in this story should they happen upon my blog and somehow figure out that I'm talking about them (even though I left out their last names for their privacy). Enjoy.