It's been raining a lot, which I know is good for the flowers, but it doesn't help my mood. I've been sick, and stressed and generally grumpier than normal. This is silly because I have a lot of potentially exciting things going on right now. I'm moving and starting a new job, but with these exciting things come stress. I typically use a regression method of coping where I just ignore anything that could potentially cause anxiety. I'm trying to stop doing that because it usually causes more problems down the road. So I'm dealing with stuff. Here's what I'm stressed about: I just quit my job. That's scary. Many of you know that I've been accepted into the Indianapolis Teaching Fellows, which I am extremely excited about, but even you will be scared after I tell you this next tidbit...There's a test you have to pass (two tests really, but I already passed the first one) before you can start the program June 1. I took this test April 24 which was both the first and last available date for me to take it and be eligible and I don't find out if I passed until next Tuesday. I consider myself a fairly competent test-taker, but this test was hard! I don't know calculus! I debated publicizing this for fear of public humiliation if I failed, but I figure I might as well get it out there. On top of that I have a bunch of work to do before June 1 for this program that I may not even be accepted into, have to worry about moving while finishing out my final two weeks with people who aren't exactly 100% supportive of my decision to leave.
So that was me venting. I'm usually a pretty optimistic person so each time I start to dwell on one of these stressors, I repeat this quote that I read on a "Things I've Learned" poster in my doctor's office: I've learned that most of the things I worry about never happen - age 64. I love that quote because it's so true, and it's helped me quite a bit. So I'm back to my optimistic self and seeing the glass half full. There's nothing I can do abuot that test now so I shouldn't waste time worrying and chances are that I passed it, I'll get everything done that I need to because I always do, and the moving and starting over thing is more exciting than it is scary. It's all a matter of perspective. There's a country song out right now that says it better than me.
It clouds up in the city, the weather man complains
But where I come from, rain is a good thing.
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No matter what, you already made it. You've accomplished more than most people in this world and that is having the courage to step out of your comfort zone. "Life is a box of chocolates," but you will never know which chocolate you like if you don't try a few of them! Living up to other people's expectations is not the way to go anyway. Don't worry about anybody who isn't supportive with all the "changes" because at the end of the day, your happiness is up to YOU! Don't forget about your Tuesday pedicure!
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