Hearts

So earlier I was thinking that I should write something because I am feeling a little bit more chipper than I have been so I don't want people to think that I'm still super depressed. I can't say that I'm in great shape all the time, but overall I am doing much better. I signed my divorce papers the other day. Mark is supposed to file tomorrow. He better. Enough of that.

Moving on....That's what I'm trying to do. With this blog and life in general. I've been playing a lot of Hearts on the computer. That's where the title came from...sorta. Which then led me to Bon Jovi. Wait for it... Apparently, according to some article Mark read a long time ago, Bon Jovi's song writing process began with the song title. Then I guess they would come up with the song from there. Mark always thought that was so stupid and ruined the awesomeness that was and still is Bon Jovi. Told you. So Hearts has multiple connotations in my life because I have been playing the game on the computer A LOT, and I've never done that. I haven't even ever really played Hearts before. I just learned to play, and now I am pretty awesome. Which is kind of like my life right now. I am having to relearn how to live it a little bit because I've been so used to living with Mark. I'm feeling really good though. I think I am going to be even awesomer at life than I am at Hearts. Give me some time and I'll prove it.

I was also thinking of hearts like my heart breaking and maybe, hopefully starting to come back together. I feel like it totally is. I am for the first time in a long time, starting to feel like me again. **So I started writing this blog and then was rudely interrupted by this guy that we evicted (evicted for playing dice in the common hallways) who was getting the last of his belongings out of his apartment. I had to go let him in. This is where I left my blog. I came back and wrote some good material. I hit publish post and guess what, it said that Blogger was temporarily unavailable. That's just fantastic.** So basically, in a nutshell - now let's be honest, we all know I don't fully understand the meaning of that expression - I am starting to do better now than I have in a long time. I am starting to look forward to things. I am starting to feel happy, and feel like things are going to be OK. Last week, someone told me that the day would come when each day was better than the last. I think I may have reached that point, as opposed to the sporadic ups and downs that I've been going through over the last couple of months. Unless of course, I just happen to be having one of those good days and I just don't know it and it's all going to come crashing down tomorrow. Let's hope not! I've been waiting for this. I feel like I have good friends who love me for me, and not because they like Mark and have to pretend to be my friend. Those people were lame anyway because anyone who's anyone knows that I am way cooler than Mark. Duh! I am looking forward to the future, and for the first time in a while, Mark is definitely not in it, and I am glad. I think I have an opportunity to be happier than I thought I would be. I'm pretty psyched about it. I can't wait to get out there and have fun, kiss boys and live life. It's like a rebirth, or staying with the theme, a heart transplant. :-) I know...I took it too far. Bottom line is that I'm doing better.

I should mention that Ashlee thought the title of this post was ironic because I hate hearts. The shape mostly, not the organ so much. I hate hearts on jewelry, heart shaped boxes, decorations, clothing, etc. I just really don't like anything shaped like a heart. Except...I just thought of an exception, I like heart shaped boxes of chocolate.

So I know that this post was pretty random and a little silly, and it may have been stupid, but at least it wasn't depressing. I don't think it was at least. Let's look at the bright side!