2008: A Look Back

It has been an interesting year. And while it's been tough at times, interesting is better than mundane. I am attempting to get it all out here, really wrap up 2008 so I'm not dwelling in 2009 because 2009 is so going to be my year. I think I'm going to break the year up into thirds. I can see clear definition between the three parts of the year, and I think it's important that I can reflect on the good, the bad and the ugly.

January - April: Married

I know this seems almost morbid, and I'll make it brief, but at least the first couple months of 2008 were pretty good. We had good times. (This is why the whole divorce thing came as kind of a shock to many, including myself, but I'm not dwelling.) There was a lot of Rock Band, which I genuinely miss. I was starting to get really good, and now the world will never know. New Year's weekend last year was a lot of fun, as I recall. A lot of old friends were in town and we got to see Records Record Records for what I believe was the first time - for us at least - at which time we came up with a slew of band names that were better than 'Records Record Records', including our favorite 'The Carnivorous Wingtips', which will really take off one of these days. These first couple months of the year also included a lot of Rock Bottom, a little high school basketball, Robby's Lost party (See here), more Rock Band, and the Reds game with the best 7th inning stretch ever.

May - August: Separated

Summertime! This season brought my lowest lows and my highest highs. It's odd how I was able to have some of my best times while almost simultaneously experiencing my worst times ever (Sorry I don't have pictures of that, but I'm sure you can imagine - some of you got to live it with me - my appreciation and apologies) I'll start with a brief timeline: The first weekend of May, like the day before Mark's birthday, he told me he didn't want to be married anymore. Throughout most of May, I fought it, we fought, I cried, we didn't talk, etc. He moved out on my birthday, May 26. I don't think he chose my birthday to try and twist the dagger or anything because it happened to be Memorial Day which made it convenient, but it does make my story a little better. So after my husband left me - on my birthday, no less - I continued to live in denial for a little while longer and eventually accepted that Mark wasn't coming back. Ashlee was living with me, which was a godsend. We moved out of mine and Mark's apartment into "the cottage" on the west side. Mark finally filed for divorce in August. I don't really feel the need to reflect on the low points. I think you can figure that part out.

There were some highlights. It actually turned out to be the best summer I've had in a long time. The country radio station, WFMS, sells this country mega-ticket in February for all of the country concerts in the summer. Well, I had bought this because it is a really good deal, and I was thinking I could take Ashlee to a couple as her birthday present and I could probably find somebody to go to the rest with me. So Ashlee and I ended up going to all five shows, and had an awesome time. It ended up raining at some point during at least three of the shows, but we endured. In addition to those shows at Deer Creek (suck it, Verizon) we saw Chuck Wicks at the State Fair, and thanks to Ward (many thanks!) got to see Buffett as well. Now, I wasn't always in the mood to go out, but looking back I have some of the best memories ever from our summer concert tour. Ashlee probably deserves some credit for that so while I have already thanked her with free concert tickets and three months free room and board, I will give her a public shout out as well. Thanks Ash! :-) In addition to the concerts, other highlights included decorating the cottage, How I Met Your Mother marathons (Ashlee and I are good at watching TV) a few parties (I am using this term very loosely for lack of a better term because these 'parties' usually consisted of the same 6 or 7 people, but were always awesome!), some good movies (Sex and the City, Mama Mia, etc) and a week long vacation with the 'rents at the lake. I was surrounded by friends and family (I think that is normal after a traumatic event) and while I didn't avoid what I was going through, I didn't have too much time to dwell on it. I am so grateful to all of you who were there for me, supported me, and made me laugh. I'll add and acknowledgments section at the end (remind me if I forget). This summer I had a lot to deal with, but I was able to grow closer to a lot of important people and learn a little bit about myself. Turns out I'm a tough cookie. :-)

September - December: Divorced

So the warm summer nights faded into fall, and I learned it's easier to be single when it's nice outside. Things got a little tougher in the fall. Ashlee moved out, which left me all alone, all the time. The divorce was final in October, and I changed my name back. I think being alone all the time was an adjustment. I've never lived all alone before. It is something I have gotten used to...maybe too used to it, as I have become something of a recluse. Well, not really, but this cold part of the year hasn't been quite as fun as the warm parts. I have been learning to be single again. The rules are different, and when Ash was with me she kind of took the place of my plus 1 so it wasn't until she left that I really had to face life alone. I have been trying to figure out what's appropriate when dating. I've been used to not having to try so hard, and I tend to come off a little crazy. But I'm working on that.

The fall consisted of Purdue Volleyball, Kenny and Keith at Lucas Oil, Lindsay's return to Indiana, our awesome pumpkins, an amazing night filled with Cranium where we (me, Ashlee, Robby, Sara, and Cic) discovered that we are hilarious, another move (I now live in Castleton), my discovery of the Twilight Series, a trip to Colorado for the Sweet 16 (Thanks NCAA), and of course the holidays.

I feel good 85% of the time, and while I am not completely healed, I am definitely getting there. All and all, there has been more good than bad this year, and I am grateful to be blessed with so many people who care about me and a good attitude. This recap could have definitely been a lot more depressing than it was. 2008 has brought me joy and pain and taught me a few things about life as well as myself, but I am happy to see it go. I am looking forward to the future, fresh starts and 2009. It's a new year and anything can happen!

Acknowledgements

I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who made this year possible. First of all, my family. My parents who have supported me and will always be there for me no matter what. My siblings: Lindsay for being her and helping me to see things in a different perspective, Ashlee for just being there and for knowing me well enough to know what I needed when I needed it and giving me that, and Kyle for being such an amazingly awesome person and for having basically the same brain as me so you totally get me and make me laugh. My friends, which sounds so cliche, but I was worried I would lose all my friends in the divorce, but I have had a lot of people who didn't leave even though that might have been easier. Soups, Clint, Fish and Joe while you are Mark's friends, and technically only friends with me because of him, you all in your own way let me know that you still cared about me and were my friend. Some of you took longer to get around to it, but I understand and am glad you made it. Soups, I have to give you special props because you didn't skip a beat. You didn't hesitate. You were just there, and I would have completely understood if you had needed time, but you knew that I needed you more so thank you! Ami and Amanda both only knew me as part of Mark and Karli, and it's not easy to transition that kind of relationship and I appreciate the effort you have made. Robby and Sara, you two have been there for me since day one as well, and you weren't afraid to let anyone know who's side you were on, which meant a lot. Cic, you also were never on the fence with your allegiance, but it would have been weird if you were. You were always there when no one else was. I feel the need to throw Ward in here as well. I am glad to have you as a friend. Leslie, I appreciate your experience and sympathy, and Becky I appreciate what a good friend you have been by just being there for whatever I needed, whether it was to go out and do something or just to watch TV and understanding when I didn't want to do anything. Then, I think last but not least would be Scott and Aaron, who were also on Team Karli from day one...before that really. You guys both together and individually have looked out for me and taken care of me. I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't talked to one or both of you. You are the people that I know would report me missing if something happened because you would know. Thank you for worrying about me.