People I Deal with at Work, Part 1: The Residents

Despite plenty of evidence to the contrary (me having time to write this blog while at work), my job is not boring. I admit I spend a lot of time complaining about it, but it does provide me with plenty of interesting stories. Many of these I don't share for fear of annoying people who won't find them funny because you weren't there. No offense to the teachers out there...I love you all, but you know how teachers are always telling you stories about the kids in their class?? This is what I'm trying to avoid. In small doses, that is fine, but I just really don't care that much about the kids in their class. If I'm going to hear kid stories I'd like them to at least be YOUR kids. I can deal with that. I digress, and I really mean no offense and I'm going to feel bad if people stop telling me "kid at school" stories because I'll think you read this and were offended so keep them coming! Back to me. While my job is similar to many other jobs in a lot of ways - I work in an office, I sit at a desk and play on the computer all day - it is also unique in the fact that many of the people I'm working with from day to day live here. This is what differentiates selling apartments from any other sales job. You work hard and kiss ass to make the sale, but then instead of taking your product and leaving never to be heard from again, they move in! This means anything you promised them better be true because they will call you on it because they live here! Now that you get it, I will be profiling a few of the residents that I get to deal with.

1. The Buddy - This guy thinks he's my buddy. He pops in all the time just to say hi because we're buddies. He comments on my outfits - "All black today, huh?" Uh, yeah, apparently. And when he has a service request, he's cool about it. No big deal, but my tub's clogged so just whenever. Or I need a new furnace filter, but don't worry about installing it tell the guys they can just drop it off and I'll do it. This is all well and good until something doesn't get done or they get a letter that they owe money. Then it's all "I've been really understanding, but..." Just be straight up with me. Nobody asked you to put your own filter in. It doesn't make a difference to me. The worst is if something really bad happens in their apartment (ex. mold, break-in, etc) because then they never leave. They're here all day every day. But for the most part, this guy's not so bad. Moving on...

2. The Contractor - This guy is a contractor or works for a contractor or used to be a contractor or his brother's a contractor or her dad's a contractor or they just think they're a contractor. This person does a couple of different things. First, they want to see the apartment before they move in, which is fine if it's ready, but sometimes its not ready until they want to move in because they needed it right away and still want to be picky. But they don't care if it's not ready. At least that's what they think until they get in there and it's dirty and smells like cooking grease because everything looks worse when it smells like cooking grease. Trust me. So before they move in they already have a list of stuff they expect done before they move in. Most of which would have been done and the rest they wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for the stupid grease. This, by the way, is why we don't show apartments before they're officially ready. (These people sometimes sneak in when they're laying carpet or something) Then the worst is if something breaks in their apartment because no matter how we fix it or who fixes it, they know somebody who would have done a better job. Or they were watching the people work and they didn't do this right or that. These people can be nice in person, but have the potential to be completely annoying if anything ever goes wrong in their apartment. Oh, and they also know all the building codes, OSHA laws, health department numbers and can and will tell us what we are doing wrong and threaten to call and report us if it is not corrected.

3. The Screamer - These people yell about anything and everything. They yell at me, they yell at their kids, they yell at their husband, or their neighbor. It doesn't matter what the issue is, but it can be resolved through screaming. These are the same people who post their complaints on apartmentratings.com. That's like virtual screaming. Most of these people hate me, but some of them come in and apologize after the screaming only to turn around and do it again the next day. They also pass this along to their children. As I was leaving the complex last night for dinner, I passed four teenagers yelling at each other while a police officer sorted it out. While I probably should have stopped to be sure everything was OK...I just kept driving. The worst thing about these people is that they are perfectly pleasant when they lease the apartment. The screaming doesn't start until after they move in.

4. The Partyer - This one's not as bad as it sounds. These guys know what they're doing. They throw parties every weekend and nobody complains because they invite everyone. It's genius, really. Everyone loves these guys. They're just so cool. The police occasionally get called, probably by the new guy who hasn't gotten his invite yet, but these guys sweet talk the cops and the party rages on. These guys don't complain, they pay their rent on time and generally spend all the time they aren't partying being careful to stay under the radar. I like these guys. I can sleep through anything so as long as I'm not getting phone calls (which I'm not - it's still amazing to me because these parties get loud and can encompass the entire street), I don't care.

5. The Ghost - This is the last type of resident I'm going to talk about and definitely my favorite. This is the resident you never see and never hear from. Their rent is always magically in the drop box on the 1st, but they never call the office, never stop by, aren't loud, don't get complaints, don't even come out to walk their dog until nobody else is around. It's as if they don't exist.

This is part one of a four part series on the people I deal with at work.